30 December 2014
Two weeks since Dylan has gone
It is already two weeks since my baby has passed away. I miss him so much. The initial numbness has now made way for the pain... It doesn't feel right here without him! Luckily Flash, Jesse and Skye are all doing ok and are getting on with things. I try to as well, but it is hard... :-(
20 December 2014
Dylan's gone... I can't believe that my baby is gone... June 2001 to December 2014.
My beautiful baby boy has gone... After all the improvements with the radiotherapy, I can't believe that Dylan is now gone, gone to sleep forever!
On Sunday, 14th December, Dylan was a bit quieter. He hardly left his bed. His breathing also seemed a bit faster. But when I fed the dogs, I noticed that his gums were pale, very pale. It really had me worried, so I called the emergency vet. She asked lots of questions, but in the end said that he would be ok until the morning and that the AHT would check him out as he had an appointment with them anyway.
At 10.30 we had the appointment with Davide. Dylan perked up when he walked through the doors of the AHT and was very pleased to see Davide as well as a couple of the staff that looked after him there. Davide checked and said that before doing the radiotherapy, they would do the bloods to check what was going on. That would tell them whether he was losing blood somewhere. If he was, then they would do an ultrasound and further checks as appropriate.
Davide called me back when the blood results were in, saying that he was definitely losing blood somewhere, so they went ahead with the ultrasound.
A couple of hours later, Davide called again with the bad news... the ultrasound showed nothing, so they did xrays of the chest... and the cancer had now spread to his lungs. And it was likely that the bleeding was happening in his lungs. What a blow.
When I went to pick Dylan up, he seemed a bit unwell and subdued. Davide showed me the xrays where the new tumours in his lungs were clearly visible. There were a couple of larger ones, and many, many small ones! I just couldn't believe that after all this, after all the progress he had made with his leg, we had now reached the end of the road so suddenly! Only 6 weeks ago, his chest looked completely clear, and now his lungs were riddled with cancer too!
Davide gave Dylan cuddles saying goodbye, knowing that it would probably be the last time he'd see him. He did dispense some further pain medication and said that I could contact him anytime if necessary.
I already had a feeling when I saw Dylan at the AHT that things weren't looking good, but of course I was hoping that he would improve a bit in time. He didn't - and it quickly became clear once I was at home for a while with him, that he was not comfortable. I made the heartbreaking decision that evening of the 15th, that I would have to let Dylan go. He wasn't going to get better now, there was nothing that could stop the bleeding, and there was nothing that would improve his breathing. Dylan was losing the fight! I didn't want him to drown in his own blood, as we were quite sure that the bleeding was happening in his lungs.
The next morning, I gave it time until after 10 o'clock, milling things over and over in my head, trying to ascertain that I was making the right decision and wasn't being hasty... But Dylan's appetite was virtually gone, he was only eating when I hand-fed him super nice stuff like bacon, cheese and cooked chicken... and even with that he was getting more reluctant by the minute. He now also resented taking his medication. His breathing had gotten a little worse over night and he was definitely feeling worse. So I called the vet to come to my house in the afternoon.
The vet was a little late due to an emergency they had to attend. However, during that time we were waiting, Dylan went outside to the toilet and he looked distinctly dizzy. He didn't want to go down the step into the garden and when he went to drink water, he kind of like went into a trance before he touched even the water, as if he was blacking out. When I lifted the bowl up for him, he was drinking. I think he felt very dizzy as the internal bleeding started to weaken his circulation and blood pressure... It was the final confirmation that I was doing the right thing!
Just after three o'clock, Ashley the vet and a nurse arrived, and a few minutes later, a few seconds after the needle went in, Dylan peacefully went to sleep and then slipped away. Just like Troy, he passed so quickly and peacefully, he was ready to go.
Dylan stayed at home over night. Flash, Jesse and Skye didn't really take any notice of him at all. They were there when it happened and they knew he had passed away and wasn't here anymore.
During the night, Dylan lost a lot of blood through his nose, which only confirms that he was definitely bleeding out in his lungs, and sending him to sleep when I did was the right thing to do.
I am absolutely devastated. I feel totally numb. I can't believe that my beautiful boy is gone now. He put up such a brave fight and he was in good spirits through pretty much all of this time (three months since initial diagnosis). I can't thank Davide and the AHT enough for all they have done for him, and for the care and dedication that they lavished on him. Dylan loved going there, and he loved Davide and all the staff there.
I miss you so much, Dylan! I am sure Troy was waiting there for you to welcome you and show you around. You were such a special dog, we had such a special time together, you will never be forgotten and will be with me in my heart forever.
On Wednesday I took Dylan on his last car journey, to the Peaceful Pets crematorium. Yesterday, I picked up his ashes. I feel a little better since his ashes are back home now, I have closure I guess. But my heart is breaking! Dylan was one in a million, he was my first dog, in the nearly 13 years we shared together, we went through so much together, and he was always there, always a comfort when times were tough, always up for fun, "a true gentleman" as a friend called him, "an old wise soul"... Now another star in the sky, another angel at the Rainbow Bridge. Sleep tight, my beautiful boy!
Here are the last two pictures I took of Dylan, that was on Monday, 15th December.
On Sunday, 14th December, Dylan was a bit quieter. He hardly left his bed. His breathing also seemed a bit faster. But when I fed the dogs, I noticed that his gums were pale, very pale. It really had me worried, so I called the emergency vet. She asked lots of questions, but in the end said that he would be ok until the morning and that the AHT would check him out as he had an appointment with them anyway.
At 10.30 we had the appointment with Davide. Dylan perked up when he walked through the doors of the AHT and was very pleased to see Davide as well as a couple of the staff that looked after him there. Davide checked and said that before doing the radiotherapy, they would do the bloods to check what was going on. That would tell them whether he was losing blood somewhere. If he was, then they would do an ultrasound and further checks as appropriate.
Davide called me back when the blood results were in, saying that he was definitely losing blood somewhere, so they went ahead with the ultrasound.
A couple of hours later, Davide called again with the bad news... the ultrasound showed nothing, so they did xrays of the chest... and the cancer had now spread to his lungs. And it was likely that the bleeding was happening in his lungs. What a blow.
When I went to pick Dylan up, he seemed a bit unwell and subdued. Davide showed me the xrays where the new tumours in his lungs were clearly visible. There were a couple of larger ones, and many, many small ones! I just couldn't believe that after all this, after all the progress he had made with his leg, we had now reached the end of the road so suddenly! Only 6 weeks ago, his chest looked completely clear, and now his lungs were riddled with cancer too!
Davide gave Dylan cuddles saying goodbye, knowing that it would probably be the last time he'd see him. He did dispense some further pain medication and said that I could contact him anytime if necessary.
I already had a feeling when I saw Dylan at the AHT that things weren't looking good, but of course I was hoping that he would improve a bit in time. He didn't - and it quickly became clear once I was at home for a while with him, that he was not comfortable. I made the heartbreaking decision that evening of the 15th, that I would have to let Dylan go. He wasn't going to get better now, there was nothing that could stop the bleeding, and there was nothing that would improve his breathing. Dylan was losing the fight! I didn't want him to drown in his own blood, as we were quite sure that the bleeding was happening in his lungs.
The next morning, I gave it time until after 10 o'clock, milling things over and over in my head, trying to ascertain that I was making the right decision and wasn't being hasty... But Dylan's appetite was virtually gone, he was only eating when I hand-fed him super nice stuff like bacon, cheese and cooked chicken... and even with that he was getting more reluctant by the minute. He now also resented taking his medication. His breathing had gotten a little worse over night and he was definitely feeling worse. So I called the vet to come to my house in the afternoon.
The vet was a little late due to an emergency they had to attend. However, during that time we were waiting, Dylan went outside to the toilet and he looked distinctly dizzy. He didn't want to go down the step into the garden and when he went to drink water, he kind of like went into a trance before he touched even the water, as if he was blacking out. When I lifted the bowl up for him, he was drinking. I think he felt very dizzy as the internal bleeding started to weaken his circulation and blood pressure... It was the final confirmation that I was doing the right thing!
Just after three o'clock, Ashley the vet and a nurse arrived, and a few minutes later, a few seconds after the needle went in, Dylan peacefully went to sleep and then slipped away. Just like Troy, he passed so quickly and peacefully, he was ready to go.
Dylan stayed at home over night. Flash, Jesse and Skye didn't really take any notice of him at all. They were there when it happened and they knew he had passed away and wasn't here anymore.
During the night, Dylan lost a lot of blood through his nose, which only confirms that he was definitely bleeding out in his lungs, and sending him to sleep when I did was the right thing to do.
I am absolutely devastated. I feel totally numb. I can't believe that my beautiful boy is gone now. He put up such a brave fight and he was in good spirits through pretty much all of this time (three months since initial diagnosis). I can't thank Davide and the AHT enough for all they have done for him, and for the care and dedication that they lavished on him. Dylan loved going there, and he loved Davide and all the staff there.
I miss you so much, Dylan! I am sure Troy was waiting there for you to welcome you and show you around. You were such a special dog, we had such a special time together, you will never be forgotten and will be with me in my heart forever.
On Wednesday I took Dylan on his last car journey, to the Peaceful Pets crematorium. Yesterday, I picked up his ashes. I feel a little better since his ashes are back home now, I have closure I guess. But my heart is breaking! Dylan was one in a million, he was my first dog, in the nearly 13 years we shared together, we went through so much together, and he was always there, always a comfort when times were tough, always up for fun, "a true gentleman" as a friend called him, "an old wise soul"... Now another star in the sky, another angel at the Rainbow Bridge. Sleep tight, my beautiful boy!
Here are the last two pictures I took of Dylan, that was on Monday, 15th December.
12 December 2014
Small improvements
Just now, Dylan was trotting for a few steps in the garden - without lifting his back leg up. How cool is this! Just wonderful.
I have also observed that he doesn't always lift his leg off the floor anymore when he stands, but gently rests on it. So his pain continues to decrease gradually!
This is so encouraging. He is due back at the AHT on Monday for another radiotherapy session.
Here is a picture of Dylan's artwork on his back leg, which is of course the markings for the radiation area.
I have also observed that he doesn't always lift his leg off the floor anymore when he stands, but gently rests on it. So his pain continues to decrease gradually!
This is so encouraging. He is due back at the AHT on Monday for another radiotherapy session.
Here is a picture of Dylan's artwork on his back leg, which is of course the markings for the radiation area.
10 December 2014
Dylan's home again
On Friday morning, before I travelled down to Croydon to Karen and ultimately to Gatwick airport, I popped into the AHT again to see Dylan. He was brought out to me to a consulting room as the ward was too busy at that time of the day. He was happy to see me wagging his tail and I spent some time with him. He was very settled and walking well on his bad leg. It was such a relief to see him doing well and I was able to travel to Switzerland with a slightly less heavy heart.
Whilst in Switzerland, I talked to Jody on the Saturday and an intern on Sunday, who updated me on Dylan's progress. As the Recuverya wore off, they put him on the normal pain medication again. He started limping again, but was brighter and settled.
On Monday, I talked to the intern again, as well as Davide. They did the radiotherapy and all went well. I was able to pick him up on Tuesday after they kept him an extra day for observation with regards to pain management.
On Tuesday, I drove up to Newmarket, though it took me almost 4 hours to get there from Fulham (where I went to see my parents-in-law Josie and Con after leaving from Karen's). Earlier that day there was a serious accident on the M25 at the junction for the M11. So we were stationary on the M25 for a while, and then got diverted via the A10. I finally got to the AHT at 4 pm.
I was absolutely stunned how well Dylan looked when he walked out towards me with Davide. He didn't notice me at first, but when he recognised me I got a big tail wag. He was walking really well and looking very happy. I was thrilled seeing him look this well. I was dreading what was going to expect me, and it was such a lovely surprise!
Davide talked me through the meds he was on now (one new pain medication - Symmetrel - in addition to Metacam, Pardale V and Tramadol, and an antibiotic, as there was a bit of bleeding from the wind pipe).
When I left with Dylan, he followed me straight out without trying to turn back towards the kennels (like he normally would). And he walked straight up to the car. It was as if to say "yep, mum, I am ready to go home. I am all better now." It was amazing! I was crying on my way home, but this time, it was tears of happiness!
At home he settled straight away, went to the garden for toileting and ate his dinner well. Here are a couple of pictures I took when we got home.
Today Dylan has been resting a lot. He didn't eat all his breakfast, and also left some of his dinner. I think though that this is due to the herbs that he doesn't like hugely. (That's the Heal! herbs that I give him to help with digestion as his motions are not very good). I will leave them out from now on and hopefully he will be back to eating well from tomorrow.
When I got home tonight from classes, he was up in the kitchen and wagging his tail furiously! He hasn't done that for a while and usually just stayed in his bed as it was too painful to get up. I am well chuffed at how well he is doing.
Yes, he is still limping, particularly when he tries to run, but he just gets on with it and is overall in a happy mood. Tonight I took this video... can you believe it. From what happened last week where it looked like there was no way out of this anymore, to this where he is playing again! I just can't quite believe it, but am so grateful to Davide and all the staff at the AHT for all they have done for my boy. Today Davide even called to ask how Dylan is doing. And when I told him that he was using his leg pretty well when walking, he said "It seems to be working then" [the radiotherapy]. How kind was that of him to call and check on Dylan. :-)
Here is the video that I filmed tonight whilst he was waiting for his dinner: http://youtu.be/0xZSoVtJeCs
And a picture from tonight.
Whilst in Switzerland, I talked to Jody on the Saturday and an intern on Sunday, who updated me on Dylan's progress. As the Recuverya wore off, they put him on the normal pain medication again. He started limping again, but was brighter and settled.
On Monday, I talked to the intern again, as well as Davide. They did the radiotherapy and all went well. I was able to pick him up on Tuesday after they kept him an extra day for observation with regards to pain management.
On Tuesday, I drove up to Newmarket, though it took me almost 4 hours to get there from Fulham (where I went to see my parents-in-law Josie and Con after leaving from Karen's). Earlier that day there was a serious accident on the M25 at the junction for the M11. So we were stationary on the M25 for a while, and then got diverted via the A10. I finally got to the AHT at 4 pm.
I was absolutely stunned how well Dylan looked when he walked out towards me with Davide. He didn't notice me at first, but when he recognised me I got a big tail wag. He was walking really well and looking very happy. I was thrilled seeing him look this well. I was dreading what was going to expect me, and it was such a lovely surprise!
Davide talked me through the meds he was on now (one new pain medication - Symmetrel - in addition to Metacam, Pardale V and Tramadol, and an antibiotic, as there was a bit of bleeding from the wind pipe).
When I left with Dylan, he followed me straight out without trying to turn back towards the kennels (like he normally would). And he walked straight up to the car. It was as if to say "yep, mum, I am ready to go home. I am all better now." It was amazing! I was crying on my way home, but this time, it was tears of happiness!
At home he settled straight away, went to the garden for toileting and ate his dinner well. Here are a couple of pictures I took when we got home.
When I got home tonight from classes, he was up in the kitchen and wagging his tail furiously! He hasn't done that for a while and usually just stayed in his bed as it was too painful to get up. I am well chuffed at how well he is doing.
Yes, he is still limping, particularly when he tries to run, but he just gets on with it and is overall in a happy mood. Tonight I took this video... can you believe it. From what happened last week where it looked like there was no way out of this anymore, to this where he is playing again! I just can't quite believe it, but am so grateful to Davide and all the staff at the AHT for all they have done for my boy. Today Davide even called to ask how Dylan is doing. And when I told him that he was using his leg pretty well when walking, he said "It seems to be working then" [the radiotherapy]. How kind was that of him to call and check on Dylan. :-)
Here is the video that I filmed tonight whilst he was waiting for his dinner: http://youtu.be/0xZSoVtJeCs
And a picture from tonight.
04 December 2014
I went to visit Dylan at the AHT
Yesterday and today I went to visit Dylan at the AHT. Yesterday he was very whiney and I could see that he was still in some pain with his leg. He was on intravenous methadone at this point. I stayed for about an hour and he didn't really settle. However, the staff said that he had been really quiet overall, so I think my presence just kind of stirred things up a bit. They also said that he was using his leg a little bit again, though seemed to struggle a little on the other leg, possibly with arthritis. That was just the confirmation I needed that I did the right thing by not going for the amputation.
They gave him a "spot on" pain relief, which is called Recuverya. It is very potent and I wasn't allowed to touch him without gloves on. Whilst I was there, this hadn't taken effect yet though.
Today I went again, and Dylan was so much better. Davide said that he was putting proper weight on his leg again. He is also still eating well which is great. Whilst I was there he was a little spaced out perhaps, but so much more settled, a little whiney, but nothing major and nothing compared to yesterday, and he went to sleep a few times whilst I was there. I feel much happier now leaving him over the weekend (though still far from happy with it). I shall contact Davide on a daily basis to find out how he is doing and I hope that he will be comfortable now until the radiation effects kick in, and by god, I hope they will kick in!
I will go and see him again tomorrow morning before I travel down south to Karen's.
They gave him a "spot on" pain relief, which is called Recuverya. It is very potent and I wasn't allowed to touch him without gloves on. Whilst I was there, this hadn't taken effect yet though.
Today I went again, and Dylan was so much better. Davide said that he was putting proper weight on his leg again. He is also still eating well which is great. Whilst I was there he was a little spaced out perhaps, but so much more settled, a little whiney, but nothing major and nothing compared to yesterday, and he went to sleep a few times whilst I was there. I feel much happier now leaving him over the weekend (though still far from happy with it). I shall contact Davide on a daily basis to find out how he is doing and I hope that he will be comfortable now until the radiation effects kick in, and by god, I hope they will kick in!
I will go and see him again tomorrow morning before I travel down south to Karen's.
02 December 2014
Radiotherapy done... finally better news.
Davide just called and I have got news regarding Dylan. The radiation treatment went well, and the methadone is keeping the pain under control. (When the methadone wears off he apparently starts lifting his leg up again, but with the methadone he puts the leg down). He is sleeping in his kennel most of the time which is a good thing. Now the thing is that we need to keep him comfortable until the radiotherapy effects are kicking in, which is about a week. To do that, he gets some additional super potent pain medication (which is like a spot on) which means that he has to stay in hospital for another few days (by law apparently!). So he is not coming home tonight, but I can go and visit him every day, which I will do of course.
Tomorrow however my car has to go into the garage (essential as otherwise my exhaust will come off eventually, the bracket holding the exhaust is split open), but I hope that I will get it back by lunch time so I can go and visit Dylan.
I hate leaving him at the AHT as I want to spend every minute he has left with him, but I know that it is the best place for him to be as they can control the pain much better than me at home, and he will be a lot less stressed about it than me. He really doesn't mind the vet and the staff are brilliant there.
Now of course I am off to Switzerland on Friday evening. Davide suggested to keep him at the AHT over the weekend then, and I think he might be right. If it was anything else but my mum's 70th birthday, I would have cancelled the trip, but this is very important to my parents and if I can keep Dylan safe and comfortable at the AHT, I think I will go with that. I wouldn't see him anyway for a couple of days, so it doesn't really matter whether he is at the AHT or at Karen's.
Although I miss Dylan terribly and I hate the thought of leaving him at such a difficult time whilst I go abroad, I do feel a lot happier now that I know that he is comfortable again and in the hope that the radiation will work and give him a bit more quality time.
Tomorrow however my car has to go into the garage (essential as otherwise my exhaust will come off eventually, the bracket holding the exhaust is split open), but I hope that I will get it back by lunch time so I can go and visit Dylan.
I hate leaving him at the AHT as I want to spend every minute he has left with him, but I know that it is the best place for him to be as they can control the pain much better than me at home, and he will be a lot less stressed about it than me. He really doesn't mind the vet and the staff are brilliant there.
Now of course I am off to Switzerland on Friday evening. Davide suggested to keep him at the AHT over the weekend then, and I think he might be right. If it was anything else but my mum's 70th birthday, I would have cancelled the trip, but this is very important to my parents and if I can keep Dylan safe and comfortable at the AHT, I think I will go with that. I wouldn't see him anyway for a couple of days, so it doesn't really matter whether he is at the AHT or at Karen's.
Although I miss Dylan terribly and I hate the thought of leaving him at such a difficult time whilst I go abroad, I do feel a lot happier now that I know that he is comfortable again and in the hope that the radiation will work and give him a bit more quality time.
01 December 2014
Emergency hospitalisation
This morning, Dylan wasn't too bad first thing this morning and I was actually quite pleased. However, once he had his meal he started really hurting much more, couldn't settle and was crying out loudly. He was in so much pain.
When it didn't pass, I went to my vets for pain relief. They injected him with vetergesic. It helped a little, he was able to lay down at least, but no more than that. I then called Davide and asked him whether I could bring Dylan in as he was in so much pain. He was crying most of the way to the AHT.
Dylan was hospitalised immediately, and was given methadone. Davide said that if that's not enough, they will give him morphine as well. Tomorrow he will have radiotherapy. If that doesn't give him enough pain relief either, then I will have to make that final decision. I am in bits and have been crying for most of the day (even to the vet's this morning). I just can't imagine life without Dylan, yet, I will not let him suffer any longer if there is nothing that can help.
Here's a tiny clip of Dylan yesterday.
When it didn't pass, I went to my vets for pain relief. They injected him with vetergesic. It helped a little, he was able to lay down at least, but no more than that. I then called Davide and asked him whether I could bring Dylan in as he was in so much pain. He was crying most of the way to the AHT.
Dylan was hospitalised immediately, and was given methadone. Davide said that if that's not enough, they will give him morphine as well. Tomorrow he will have radiotherapy. If that doesn't give him enough pain relief either, then I will have to make that final decision. I am in bits and have been crying for most of the day (even to the vet's this morning). I just can't imagine life without Dylan, yet, I will not let him suffer any longer if there is nothing that can help.
Here's a tiny clip of Dylan yesterday.
30 November 2014
Really worried...
Yesterday and today, Dylan was hurting so much. I feel so helpless not being able to do anything about it. Yesterday, he also left a small amount of food in his bowl, and that really got me worried. This morning he was eating ok, as well as this evening. I have stopped putting some of the tablets straight in the food as he doesn't like some and then leaves all the food around it.
This afternoon he was really uncomfortable but was then resting on the sofa all afternoon. He felt better by the evening, ate all of his dinner and looked a bit more comfortable.
My final decision is to go ahead with radio therapy. I will be talking to Davide tomorrow to get this organised. Dylan won't do well with an amputation and I can't do just nothing as the current pain relief management isn't working too brilliantly. So radiation therapy it is.
This afternoon he was really uncomfortable but was then resting on the sofa all afternoon. He felt better by the evening, ate all of his dinner and looked a bit more comfortable.
My final decision is to go ahead with radio therapy. I will be talking to Davide tomorrow to get this organised. Dylan won't do well with an amputation and I can't do just nothing as the current pain relief management isn't working too brilliantly. So radiation therapy it is.
28 November 2014
The big decision
I have started Dylan on the higher dose of the Pardale and Tramadol. I can't see a huge amount of difference at the moment. But then he would be in some additional pain due to the biopsy (and he certainly has quite a considerable bruise around the site), so perhaps that is the reason.
He is eating well though and goes to toilet normally, so hopefully he will pick up over the weekend.
I have started today leaving him separated in the kitchen when I go out. I am just worried that either one of the others will react out of character due to his illness and hurt him, or that he stumbles or something and they react... or indeed that they touch him accidently where it hurts and he reacts. So I think it is safest and best to just keep him separate when I am not there to supervise and interfere immediately if something happens. I know he doesn't like it too much, but luckily I am at home most of the time at the moment, so it isn't stressful for him really.
Just now I had a call from Davide. They couldn't get any useful result from the spleen biopsy. So we have no further help from there. Now it is down to making a decision: do we amputate (and leave him to carry extra weight on a leg that has got a metal plate in it), do we use radiation, or do we just use pain medication and when it doesn't work (anymore) take that final and last step.
I will take the weekend to think this over. I have a feeling that pain medication won't work, as it just isn't making enough difference now. My gut feeling about an amputation is that it will not be to Dylan's advantage, as he will struggle a little, and it will only give him a few extra months at most. So I suspect I will be going down the route of radiation until that stops helping enough to give my Dylan a reasonable quality of life.
He is eating well though and goes to toilet normally, so hopefully he will pick up over the weekend.
I have started today leaving him separated in the kitchen when I go out. I am just worried that either one of the others will react out of character due to his illness and hurt him, or that he stumbles or something and they react... or indeed that they touch him accidently where it hurts and he reacts. So I think it is safest and best to just keep him separate when I am not there to supervise and interfere immediately if something happens. I know he doesn't like it too much, but luckily I am at home most of the time at the moment, so it isn't stressful for him really.
Just now I had a call from Davide. They couldn't get any useful result from the spleen biopsy. So we have no further help from there. Now it is down to making a decision: do we amputate (and leave him to carry extra weight on a leg that has got a metal plate in it), do we use radiation, or do we just use pain medication and when it doesn't work (anymore) take that final and last step.
I will take the weekend to think this over. I have a feeling that pain medication won't work, as it just isn't making enough difference now. My gut feeling about an amputation is that it will not be to Dylan's advantage, as he will struggle a little, and it will only give him a few extra months at most. So I suspect I will be going down the route of radiation until that stops helping enough to give my Dylan a reasonable quality of life.
27 November 2014
Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse...
The bad news for Dylan just keep rolling in... Davide couldn't actually do a bone biopsy today as when he went into the bone, loads of blood spurted out. He said he'd never seen anything like it and being the head of the oncology department, he obviously knows his stuff and has done plenty of bone biopsies before. Whatever is in Dylan's bone is basically eating the bone away from the inside and all that's left is just blood everywhere, including the swelling that has appeared since yesterday. So we are still none the wiser as to what exactly is going on in his leg, Davide said he couldn't believe that one month down the line, we still don't know what we are dealing with. What we do know though is that whatever "it" is, is very aggressive and nasty... and things really aren't looking good for my precious boy. We have nearly doubled his pain medication now to see whether we can get Dylan comfortable that way. And that's the best we can do now really, just keeping Dylan comfortable. Tomorrow we will get the biopsy result for the spleen which will give us an indication whether cancer is present there too.
I feel absolutely drained. I had to get Flash to his first hydrotherapy session tonight as well, and as I didn't want to leave Dylan on his own, after the anaesthetic I asked Ann whether she would be able to sit with him, which she very kindly did. (Flash did great in the water treadmill!).
Dylan has eaten his dinner now, I have given him the increased dosages of Pardale and Tramadol and he is asleep now; not deeply, but at least resting.
I feel absolutely drained. I had to get Flash to his first hydrotherapy session tonight as well, and as I didn't want to leave Dylan on his own, after the anaesthetic I asked Ann whether she would be able to sit with him, which she very kindly did. (Flash did great in the water treadmill!).
Dylan has eaten his dinner now, I have given him the increased dosages of Pardale and Tramadol and he is asleep now; not deeply, but at least resting.
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